One day during a very dark and depressing period of my life, an image flashed through my mind.  It depicted all the turmoil I was going through at the time, all the rage and hurt and the sharp, biting pain that I felt.  I jotted down a few words to describe the image... A few minutes later, I had "Red Drops In the Snow."

Before, poetry was an English assignment.  Since then, poetry has become an outlet for some of my most intense moments -- whether it be anger, despair, or love that I feel, poetry comes easier to me when my heart guides the pen instead of my mind.

My first attempts at poetry were amateurish at best, cheesy little rhymes and doggerel at worst.  I kept having this hang-up of needing to rhyme everything, and it was forcing me to contrive words and meanings I didn't want in order to match the rhyme scheme.

Then my 9th grade English teacher gave us a poetry assignment.  We were to personify an idea and describe it in a poem.  I remembered this cocker spaniel puppy my family had for few months, Colleen.  She was endearing, adorable... the child of our family.  I chose her as the personification of Childhood.  The resulting poem earned an "A" for the assignment, and was a winner in the last year of our high school's literary contest.

This was my introduction into poetry.
~*~
"Childhood"  -  written for 9th grade English, later won 1st place in the "Poetry" category of the high school literary contest, 1995

Poetry Ruled By Passion and Pain

In March of 1996, I had my heart broken for the first time.  The experience spurred me to write poem after poem, each one grim and morose, filled with darkness and pain.  Even now, I think those few months were the scariest and most terrible months of my life because for the first time, I gave up on a lot of things -- hope, love, laughter... and almost, life.

Yet it was also an awakening.  Never before had I experienced emotions of such intensity and incredible depth.  I was a paper doll before I fell in love, 2-dimensional and flat, living the stereotypical life of a studious child of Asian parents.  Until I felt the pain of heartbreak, I never knew that I was capable of the passion of love.

This was my introduction to passion.
~*~
"Emergence"  -  1995... selected for the high school literary magazine, 1996
"Wolfspirit"  ~  9 December 1995
"Clearing"  ~  29 December 1995
"Obscurity"  ~  21 January 1996
"Spring's Winter Peace"  ~  27 February 1996
"Red Drops In the Snow"  ~  8 March 1996
"The Caretaker of Woe's Garden"  -  2 May 1996... selected for the high school literary magazine, 1997 (the contest was discontinued after 1995)
"The Winds Whisper"  ~  28 April 1996
"I Woke Up This Morning"  ~  14 March 1997

Poetry of Healing & Love

It would be years before I ever fully recovered from that first heartbreak in March of '96.  During that time, I rediscovered love.  Andy never asked for much, he was simply there -- a safe harbor that sheltered me for 2 years until I grew strong enough to stand on my own again.  I never knew until we parted in November of '98 just how much of my present emotional well-being I owed to him.

Andy, remember those poems I wrote a while ago?  They were because of you.
~*~
"Need"  ~  2 May 1996
"Friends"  ~  May 1996
"People Say"  ~  8 October 1996
"I Never Thought"  ~  11 October 1996
"Afternoon In the Park"  ~  19 December 1996
"Missing You"  ~  17 January 1997
"People Chasing Rainbows"  ~  28 January 1997
"I Have A Dream Too"  ~  1 May 1997

Poetry of the Present

So what about now?

Writing takes up most of my creative time these days.  When it came right down to it, poetry has always taken a back seat to a budding story. ;)  Still, there are times when some thoughts are better said in a poem than drawn out into a short story.

And that's why I'm still a poet, even if a part-time one at best.
~*~
"Two"~ April 1, 1999
"An Opal Promise"
"Uncomplicated"~ December 5, 1999
"Touch"  ~  December 8, 1999
"Facade" ~  December 18, 1999