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Seems so funny.... was just reading all (or some) of my previous entries -- sometimes, it seems like someone else was writing.
Has it really been that long since I last poured out my feelings on paper? April, 1996. Seems like so very long ago -- sad in a way, it is. I've come a long way since that anguishing time after Randall left my life... Sometimes I go back and think about the times we had and a feeling of longing fills me. I know we will never cross paths again -- the impossibility of it is clear to me now -- but some deeper part of me can't help but wonder what he is doing, how he is, how his children are coping with everything.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Randall... even though he is behind me now. I know I am haunted by ghosts, and I think this bothers Andy some. It amazes me though, just how great an impact Randall had in my life, even though we knew each other for only 3 short months.
There are times that I wonder if I have healed completely yet. Andy has told me a little about what happened at Emerald Palace -- it sounds as if he was hurt as badly as I was. It took him more than a few months to get over what happened, I think. But it's been a few years for him, too... hard to believe that this time a year ago I was with Randall.
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